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Earlier today, Kim Kardashian, sartorial master of all things tight and booby, attended an event in London wearing a whopper of a getup. Perhaps it’s a nod to the end of summer (leather bathing-suit?) or Britain’s rich history (chainmail?) or women (BOOBS?), but the outfit has a lot going on.

According to a press release, the “dress” (in quotes because at first/second/third glance we would have called this a two-piece leather leotard ensemble) is Ralph & Russo Couture, and is described as an “exquisite custom designed gunmetal crystal corseted dress.” If Disney produced a 2014 http://humanrightsfilmnetwork.org/celexa mash-up of The Little Mermaid and Robin Hood this is what the mermaid-turned-human protagonist would wear to traipse through Sherwood Forest.

First off, the leather bustier portion. It’s so shiny! It’s also an architectural phenomenon in itself: The cups are designed to both hold Kim’s breasts in place and reveal maximum boob. It’s clearly custom since the stiff leather doesn’t cut into her anywhere, which is important when one is wearing any type of bathing-suit spinoff (I can only imagine what my reverse muffin top would look like in that).

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